Ellenmentally Mine

Sleeping Man

2012-01-26T21:49:00.001Z

It is tough when Chris looks so good when he is out and about. People say, "oh, he looks so great." Then, he comes home and goes to sleep immediately at 3 or whenever we get back because he is so exhausted from the outing. I don't see him until the next morning.

Stinks. I miss my best buddy.

I know it could be worse...{sigh}

Hospital Visit #1 This Week

2012-01-09T22:59:00.001Z

Chris had his second round of pain clinic injections. This time, he had more. Dr. Weeks (feelgood) said that he will have the denervation surgery based on the success of the first round of injections. Hopefully, these injections will kick in soon and help with his pain while he waits.

It is sad but going to the hospital with Chris is our date time. I enjoy our chatting at least when he is not like he was when he first went in November. He is so tired most of the time that he is not up to dates.

So, today was tiring but fun to be with him. Plus, I had some great reading time.

Next visit is Wednesday for Sammers.

starting out the new year: resolutions, etc.

2012-01-08T10:57:00.001Z

So, first, what will not be my resolutions this year: communicating more with friends-Last year's resolution with a faint echo of success compared to the rest of my time in the UK. Play musical instruments-except this past year is always a resolution and my instruments continue to disintegrate in the gayrage (uk pronunciation). Lose weight-get more fit works better, see resolutions. Have a cleaner house-just sucks and puts the onus on moi.

The state 2011 resolutions...see above and kid resolutions: get family outside more-(clap, clap, clap) RESOUNDING SUCCESS!!!!! This includes only the little boys and me. Chris is out of my and his own realm of control. We have taken many nature walks, rambles, journeys, and I taught them to ride a scooter and bike....finally. Yoga or get moving-I think that was one-much better until Chris went into the hospital last time.

My 2012 resolutions:

more yoga: this is a Maggie induced resolution...I will add the get moving part onto that again. Last year was better...a continuation resolution.

Eat more organic, free range, veggie food- I think another continuation that I am already doing but need to do more. It is just so expensive and time consuming. I need to remember the farm stalls and eating seasonably. Farm shops are muy caro.

My shiny, new resolution-learn German! I am rockin and rollin on this one. Thanks to the international nature of my friends and work environs. I have real life resources that I need to utilize. Tag onto this-try not to lose Spanish because I currently am. This is a necessary resolution since I want to continue some travelling genaeology research since I have exhausted the internets. The family records in Germany and Romania are both in German.

Last, get the kids to help me in my cleaning the house endeavors in a funish way. I tend to go into my dark Ellen place when I clean. This is my escape route. With Chris not working, he is more helpful but creates more mess. I just want this for a healthier, more relaxing home environs. No longer so that I can have people over.

Oh, yeah, and continuation of getting the kids in more activities. Last year was a success for Max. But, for Sam, he has not found his niche. Max has HATs now. We can strike swim lessons and choir since they were declared not fun.

Oh, one more continuation- work on building my relationship with Chris, appreciating him under whatever the state of his health and conversely spirits is.

So, now, I am going to do a bit of yoga so that the Monday class does not kick my booty if we are back from the hospital in time.

2012!

2012-01-08T10:17:00.001Z

With the new year and my hiatus from FB, I believe that I will start blogging more of the things that I might have put on FB, in addition to my whinging. I will have more typos since I am typing on the itty bitty vertical iPad keyboard. But, oh well.
I am quitting this ost with the iPhone blogger app to see if my other will go horizontal. I always enjoy horizontal more than vertical.

Saturday morning

2011-12-10T10:42:00.001Z

A quiet Saturday morning and I am luxuriating in my type B side, watching Kirikou with Sam and playing on my iPad. Chris is better but still has bloodwork that is way outta whack. Christmas season is in full swing in the house and out of school. I am into full hibernation mode. This year I am trying to embrace the darkness of the Winter season rather than resenting it and getting more depressed. After five seasons of it. The profound impact it has on all of us still surprises me. It makes sense to have a school break during this time. We are all a little extra sleepy. Well, I had two big and long posts that disappeared that were still therapeutic to write but never made it out of my iPad. I think that I might go and try my first yoga in a loooong time now. It is almost the 21st and time to start thinking about the end of hibernation. I don't need to store up as much of a reserve of blubber. Hee hee

I never wake up and can't go back to sleep!

2011-09-23T04:07:00.003+01:00

I am scared that my husband is going blind and (1st grade style gratuitous use of and without quotation marks) professionally I am shriveling up and, professionally, I once again find myself in a place of not being valued (but, this time I am fighting). On the one hand these professional doors are closing; doors that keep me from what feeds me professionally. (Maybe, that is why I am overeating in the real world again) On the other, as two wise women have shared, it is forcing me to not be so much the career woman and more the family woman.
As Chris almost let out a plea tonight, "we need you.". He told me how much he is scared. My heart is being broken on a professional and emotional plane at yet a deeper level.
He is, after I laid it all out for him post internet doctor research, going to call or make an emergency appt at the surgery tomorrow. All signs point to the fact that he has developed Posterior Uveitis. It is treated with steroids but almost always leads to blindness and is the #1 cause of blindness in the UK. The thing that scares him at this moment is that he is already all but completely blind in his right eye. His left compensates for his right. As he is losing his left and the rest of his right, he is having trouble driving and doing his job.
He loves it here so much because of the beauty of where we live and travel. What if he could not see? What if he could not see his boys grow up?
And, after a dream about my worldwide Reading Recovery/DLL family and having decent brain and soul feeding discussions, I am just sad and my heart aches about what this new principal is doing to our school and me, as an individual teacher. I feel as though we are being undervalued in a major way!
This is the first time I can remember not being able to go back to sleep.
Houston, we have a problem.

All You Need Is Now

2011-09-07T00:07:00.002+01:00

He is talking about quitting his job. This scares me so much! I honestly do not understand what is health situation is right now and how/why it is making him feel this way. He tells me all about it. I listen and try as I might I do not understand. I can't put myself in his shoes try as I might. I just don't get it. I am just going to pray for illumination and elucidation.
I love my little family so and just want them to be happy and functional! I am trying to take care of all of us including myself.
That was the title of the song that popped up on my iPad a minute ago. I am going to listen to it hopes that it will help me understand just what I need.

No Sleep the Night before School Inservice Begins

2011-08-22T02:35:00.002+01:00

I am not sleeping and have no luxury of a nap tomorrow. I am too excited about my new teacher website and finding all of my latest geneaology stuff. My, have I been creatively productive in not cleaning. I did achieve all of my other summer goals...my boys are bike riders, I'm going to yoga at least once a week, The boys are in swim lessons, Max is in the theater group. The main unfinished business is the house. It is better. I love the bits that are organized. They make me feel better. I am just not sufficiently motivated when time presents itself. Sigh...sigh
Well, I have 3 hours of potential sleep before I start the school year. I'll give it another go.

I am learning to say "no" and accept care from others

2011-08-05T19:32:00.003+01:00

I went up to school today to see the new principal in between cat trapping to fill him in on where we left off with CSI. It was a positive first experience with him. I made sure that he knew that I was not the chair but wanted to help with the transition. He asked if it would be easier for me to call the CSI chairs for this year. I said, "No." that I was still in the summer mode. I am trying to decide if I really want to go back a week early to take this class that I signed up for. I have not officially registered for the credits yet. It depends on how Chris is doing.
Chris was in severe pain last night. He was not able to get out of bed after only being able to manage two hours worth of sleep. His arms would not work this morning. Then, his back seized up on him as he tried to step out of bed causing him to fall out of bed. So, he called the doctor who is already officially on holiday but knowing Chris called to talk to him. He started him on Lyrica as he was weaning off of Gabapentin rather than waiting until he was off of it. Plus, he added valium for him to take on top of it. He is finally asleep and has been all evening.
The trickiest thing besides really missing all of my friends, my chosen family, is that Chris is back into the sleep at night pattern most of the time.
I am really enjoying vegging out. I am happy to go and work in my classroom a bit. I need to sort through some old papers and get a new book system going. I have really enjoyed all of the outings and travelling but have done myself some good by not doing too much the last couple of days. Today, I did little housework and was OK with that (kinda, just a little internal guilt). Chris gave me a little because he wants to watch Harry Potter and knows that I will not until the house is clean enough to have babysitters over. But, it will happen. It is slow cleaning like the slow cooking movement. The changes that I have made make me really happy and feel like they will hold through the craziness of the school year.
I have been thinking back to the beginning of last year's school year with its hellatious start with Chris in the hospital. Scott passing away and, then, Natan right after that. This year, so far, things are quiet. My meds have been helping and the CBT is helping me to change my reactions to the ongoing shifts in Chris's health and the family dynamics.
Last night, he said how the reduction in my anxiety and reaction to the kids and him with his grumpiness when he is in pain has really helped him to control his reactions by my example. My worry now is that I see that both of the kids at times have learned to react with anxiety from Chris and me and our past reactions. Seeing that gives me the impetus to continue to set a better example and teach them as I am teaching myself.
The boys and I are accomplishing some of our goals this summer. They are both almost riding bikes independently and have made great progress. They are in swimming lessons once a week on Tuesdays (which will force me to get out of my meetings early or on time). Max is signed up for HATS, the theatre group in the village, that will start in September. Now, I just need to get Sam signed up for soccer. Having these activities will give them more stability and some off base activities. I do not think that we will do Boy Scouts again. It was just not the cup of tea of the boys or me. I provide them the outdoor education that they need with our outdoor walks and the groups that we belong to that offer nature walks, etc. with less of the conservative tilt and instead more of a spiritual, respectful leaning. Me, I am taking care of myself by purchasing organic and healthy fed meats to feed my family through cooking (not just assembling). This is my new hobby besides trapping cats that will benefit all of us.
I have really been reviewing my friendships and whether they support and feed me and whether I support and feed them. I am finding myself with some folks around me in situations that I see do not make them happy and am not able to help them build those situations better since I see no positive way out of them without leaving them. I am there for them in the physically supportive way though when their surrounding people or situations or not meeting their needs. What I did learn this summer is that I need to keep in touch with those people that feed me in a spontaneously mutual situation. I want to make sure that I feed them, too. It felt like I was wrapped in a blanket of love and support that made me feel secure but walked with me on my path that I am leading to make my decisions about what is good and not for Chris, my children, and me. Even one of my friends that is in a horrible situation back home has a way out of it that she is finding. Through all of her misery, she keeps building me up.

Those are the sorts of incredible friends that I have and choose to call family. They help me feel the power of love, have faith, and feel God whether they are Christians or pagans.

Finding Peace

2011-07-05T06:56:00.004+01:00

With all of the uplifting friends and the strong support network that I have experienced since I have been back added with the ways that I have seen my kids react to all of the family stuff and all of the new people, I know that no matter what hits our family everything will be OK. Seeing my boys through other people's eyes has shown them to me in a clearer light. Now, I know more about what I need to give them. Also, I am feeling much more in tune with Chris and am more aware about what I need to be for him and not be; what he needs to do on his own. Most importantly, I have a clearer perspective on who I am in this dynamic and what I can be to them and what I need to do for myself. I am less worried about the outward pressures of various folks here in Texas and in the UK that are unnecessary to my/ our well-being. They have good intentions but may not understand who/ what me and my family are. I see such beautiful potential in myself and my three guys that I had lost sight of for this last bit of life. The worries of the unknown are less important but the now of today and the future are less fraught with fear. I have seen during this visit what fear and judgement have done to my extended family. I am not interested in that.
On a lighter note, (I hope) I have cancelled my UK Weightwatchers Online subscription tonight. I might subscribe to the US version so that I can use my iPad with it. But....what I am clearer about with weight loss and me: I do not like to feel like I should eat fat free foods or artificial sweeteners (although I still enjoy an occasional diet drink) and I do not like to journal my food. So, I want to find a lifestyle that can accomodate this and keep me focused on being a fitter person for myself and family. It is inspirational to see so many friends that are shaping up especially when I see the fast growing waistline on the TX population as a whole after being gone for 2 years. Even though I am lighter than I have been in a while, I see myself in photos and now that my upper body is still not there and that with more exercise, I will continue to have more energy.
It has been really good to see my friend with her two boys that has recently lost her husband. She has shown me unintentionally what is important and the bumps that her journey with an ill husband has been for them. I don't know what the future brings for me but I see better how to balance and flow while still living and nurturing myself and my three guys.
Tomorrow, we are going to the cemetary to visit Papa Blake and my friend, Scott, that passed away last year. I need to see them. They are important men who I miss very much especially being here in Canyon and with my Amarillo gang. Something is missing. I have always felt graveyards strangely comforting and helpful in filling the missing pieces from my heart.

OFF

2011-06-13T23:28:00.003+01:00

A friend on the phone tonight said that she had been chatting with a friend lately because of me. Our mutual friend thought that I sounded "off" lately; via Facebook I am assuming. It was out of concern that the mutual friend contacted her. But, why not contact me instead? This is why I do not like to open up to some folks. Of course I am off. So bleeping what!!! It is the end of an incredibly stressful school year without the fact that my husband and best buddy is chronically ill. That does not make me weaker or any less of a person or in any more of a crisis mode than I have been for the last while. Life dishes out "off" times.
This year and the last few years have changed me.
Despite that fact, I do still feel like in many ways I am living my dream.
I called the counseling service today. My GP referred me to them a month ago. It took me this long to reach out and call. My friends here keep telling me that I should call for their help more. They offer all the time. I am scared that I will use up their good graces and that they will be sick of me and my depressing plight when I really need them.
The thing that I really want from the counseling service is to help me get my house organized. I feel like my house is a visual metaphor for my life lately, cluttered. If I can declutter and prioritize my house, I feel as though I will be better able to do the same in my head. But, truly, maybe it is the opposite...now that I am decluttering and reprioritizing my head, I will be better able to do the same with my house. It is amazing how many trips to the recycling centre I have already made.
Wednesday, I am going to go with Chris to the GP to find out how to get a disabled badge and shopmobility access. At certain points in our travels, he needs a wheelchair now. I am concerned about how he will fare on our journey and time in Texas. I do NOT want to get stuck there. I like our medical services here on the NHS. I do NOT want to deal with the US system. I need to make a list of questions that I have for the GP like what is the quality of life that Chris is expected to sustain and how might all of this progress. I know that he might not answer the last question but I will be able to get a read on him whether he says anything out loud or not.
What I am realizing from this post is that for someone who is "off", I sure have been "on" an awful lot lately.

Intimate guilt

2011-05-23T23:26:00.001+01:00

What a sad number religion can do on a being. He feels guilty that he is in so much pain that he can not focus on us. He says it is the Church of Christ residual brainwashing that he can't get over. What can I say to that? I have no idea! His scenario is so alien to me. I do know that I can't talk to him about this anymore. That reaction, guilt, was not my intention. I know his body is ruling his spirit in its chronic rebellion. Just cuddling up to his arm makes me weep. I was just trying to leave the room before he saw me crying. It is so odd being with the love of my life and needing to create my own intimate self-fulfillment as if I were single.
And...
I do not want to go to the Isle of Wight. I have a bad feeling about this holiday. I do not think that I am going to want to think back about the time there in years to come. He started to panic about not having anywhere to go. I could not find anywhere to go that felt right. Usually when I book our holidays, I know when I have found the right place. This one was not it. I hope that I am wrong.
But, more than my concerns about the Isle of Wight, I do NOT want to get stuck in Texas when we visit this summer.
That is my randomness for now.

Poor Chris, Poor Me, Waaaaa

2011-05-17T00:27:00.002+01:00

So, since I do not feel like inflicting my pity party on anyone in person or over the phone, I will inflict it upon the blogging world with my iPad induced mispellings and grammatically incorrect conversational style.

I am tired of my husband being in pain and tired and having no one able to explain why he has all of these things wrong with him and be able to suitably help him deal with them. They are giving him some diagnoses of sorts and still waffle on exactly what those 5 different things are. However, those things are dealt with by putting a band aid of medications on them. Not even band aids that take care of the pain and problems but just keep the oozing to a minimum and not spraying all over the place. All of these medications make him tired and he sleeps all of the time. And he still does not feel better. They just keep him out of agony. What is the point? Why?

So, today, he tells me that he does not feel like he can work. Much longer. When I ask him to look into disability and life insurance, He gets frustrated each time. I have the future of two boys to look after. Am I being callous to ask that? I told him to quit with my blessings if that is what he needs. Honestly, I do want him to do that if that is what the reality is. But, honestly, I am scared shitless (sorry, I can think of no other word.) of that reality. He will be around the house all day depressed and not able to clean up or help around the house. I can't even keep the house picked up enough to have a cleaning lady come in. At that point, I would no longer be able to afford a cleaning lady. When he was staying at home when we first moved to the UK, he spent lots of money traveling around on shopping day trips and was not cleaning or cooking much. Now, it would be worse. It was hard on our marriage and dynamics before...now. Ugh! I know I am selfish in thinking this way. I am still even with the meds having a hard time holding family, job, and day to day together.

(can't edit the rest of my iPad keyboard mistakes with my iPad inhibited reduced scroll capacity)

On the bright side, I would like for him to have more quality time with the kids and me.

He said that it would just be for a year or so until he starts to get better. Umm...he has a degenerative spine disease, Crowns or Ulcerative Coloitis, no immune system, histoplasmosis, spondyloarthropathy and god hopefully knows what more. How is he going to get better????

The anti depressants are helping me somewhat. I wish that he would enquire about them to. I feel like if he does it now it will just be because I have bugged him about it a couple of times. But, geez, who wouldn'tbe depresswd with all of the pain he is in not to mentionthe BS ofnhis toxic unsupportive work environment.

OK, I have some of it out of my system wihtout having to burden or whinge to a friend. I know that people say they would not mind but I can see it in their eyes that they do...even feel it over the phone. I will try out the CBT folks at West Suffolk tomorrow.

Still not asleep, maybe I should just get up

2011-01-10T03:42:00.000Z

Hmmmmmm......

Sleep? Hello?

2011-01-10T02:44:00.000Z

I think I am yawny like some new age music. Maybe it will happen with 3 hours of rest in my possible future.

Oddness

2011-01-10T02:30:00.000Z

I completely meant to publish my last posting, from a few mintues ago, on my Blakenheath blog. But, it ended up on my Ellenmentally Mine blog which makes so much more sense. I do need to start to keep up my own stuff and my own blog rather than the family one since my world is so often family and work centric. So, yeah, I like how that just happened as the webs of the internets would have it. Huzzah! I can be as silly and self aggrandizing in self help sort of way as I wanna be in this space as I chat with myself like a Reagan released schizophrenic walking down the street.

Down to Earth

2011-01-10T01:16:00.000Z

Since I can't sleep and my mind is whirring and no one reads this disused blog anymore, I might as well get the thoughts spinning around down AND use as many ands as I want to just like the first grade writing that I read five days a week. (a one sentence paragraph). Also, I am typing in my iPad which does not lend itself to editing. I am not yet used to the touch, on-screen keypad. Please feel free to read what you will into the typos while my AP English teachers will never have to see them. And, know that I really can still spell like a Spelling Beechamp and use grammar ina masterful but overwordy way when I have the wakefulness and correct keyboard.

I think that this new year's passing is teaching me to get back down to earth with myself and my family and my friends. Since we have been in the UK, I have done a great job of communicating in a Facebook kinda way but not on a more personal level. With the departure from this Earth of one close and dear friend and of another treasured friend close to me who held a spot in his family much like my Chris's, I have taken notice of my place and absence in many levels of friends and family relationships. For the last many years of my life, I have had to fight off my career and the BS of being in positions of power and authority to get to what matters giving children a stimulating education while staying passionate on a personal level while doing so. On a family level, I was fairly detached while attached. It is tough seeing my best friend and love in so much pain with no end in sight always wondering when is the next hospital visit. On a totally selfish and painfully honest level, it stinks that he is often grumpy and that I get little intimacy for obvious reasons. Ugh, ugly but true. With the kids, I have been trying to keep the energy to keep them involved with some afterschool activities, do homework, and have some fun while keeping my patience with them in check. They are so much fun but I miss having my family time with them with Chris there, too. He has been reading the How to Train Your Dragin series and Tolkien books with them before bed. They love that time with him and even when he feels up to it doing homework with them. He is so much more fun in a sassy sort of way with them. I think it is because I am doing the teacher thing all day which makes it harder to do at night, too. He is doing Cub Scouts with Sam. I have commisioned him to the the Pinewood Derby thing with them. It will happen soon, right? Tonight, we all played cards together. It was a truly good time with the boys both being at an age where they can hold their own in a game. On a friend level, I want to call folks more often but by the time it is the time that they get home from work, I am exhausted and brain dead from the day. On the weekends, weare making the most of our time off. So, I am going to allot a couple of times during the week to call at least two friends a week. I have not even called some of my dearest ones to wish them a happy new year. My other goal is to gather addresses together and write them down or type them up into a collection and use them. I must use the post more this year. So, I WILL get over my phonephobia and mail phobia. I am sending out Springish cards this year since that is when I feel it is time to come out of hibermation and sing our song of greetings to everyone. Lastly, I am going to send put more gift boxes. We have so many cool things over he to share as a sign of good will and to ahow how much we really are thinking of our friends back in the States through this gesture. Lastly, my family, I feel as though I see and chat woth my mom and dad a LOT. But, it is my aunts, uncles, cousins, and in-laws that I want to reach out to more. Hopefully, this summer, Chris and the boys and will get to Canada. My family there is so kind and loving. I hate that I was not able to see them more than once every couple of years growing up and now less. I wish that I had at least seen my grandmother more. Oh well, that is the past. Even if it is a card or two that I send out, it is better than before.
Another big resolution is to spend more outdoors time this year. I live in such a beautifully magical place. I need to connect woth the land that I am on and share that with my boys. They thrive in the outdoors even if sometimes it takes some convincing to get them off of the couch or computer or out of their room. Inevitably, they enjoy themselves unless we get stuck in a British downpour. I am not getting younger is the realization I am having as my body talks back to me now ina groaning sort of way since I have neglected it. I do not need to neglect that or my spirit any longer. And,then, there is the vanity of looking a bit better than I did last time we went to Texas...not a difficult feat I hope. But, knowing myself well enogh that will fall into place as I spend that time in the fresh air and start to listen to and address my own needs, too.
So, on with the rambling, what to do about the boys birthdays. I have tried mydarndest to convince them not to have yet another skating, indoor play area, bowling alley, or swimming party and instead to go somewhere fun...but,at this point, realizing that the travel plans may not fall into place, I am ready to give inon that one. I suppose that if the one party that I did over here had been better than the party from hell, I would be more willing to do it again. Well, and, then, there was the sleepover...I am just not cut out for that stuff as a mom. Does that make me a failure to some extent? Should I just give into the mediocrity of the party and let go of that control issue and go with it if that is what they want? I guess so...but, not before I throw out Disneyland Paris as a final temptation away from the madhouse party. Weird that a teacher that loves to entertain kids in the classroom would begrudge a kid party for a few hours. We will see what happens.
Sheesh, it's 2. I am feeling a bit better like some of the swirling in my head is siphoned off onto this page. My sincere apologies to anyone that might stumble upon thos semi-lucid, self serving spew. It is time to try again for some shut eye so that I can greet the little ones with a friendly smile.

A brief divergence from poor limericks

2007-08-07T07:53:00.000+01:00

A Visit at the Holiday Inn

My stress reliever break while packing

Twas the night before England and all through the inn,
Not a boy-o was stirring, nor the rest of my kin.
The carry-ons were stacked by the door with forethought,
In hopes that the wee ones could find what they sought.

The clothes are now snuggled tight in the suitcase.
With dreams of cool weather so soon they would face.
And I, oh so restless, and Pa with his map.
Just may not settle down for a summertime nap.

When out in the hallway there arose such a din,
I thought maybe my neighbor had been hittin' the gin.
Away to the peephole, I clumsily stumbled.
To see that my theory of embibing had crumbled.

The neon light shone down the hallway so clean.
Gave perspective to see what the raucous had been.(pronounced in Canadian)
But what to my bleary ole' eyes was the greeter,
But a wee, smiling man dressed as a beefeater.

He spoke with an accent so enchantingly British.
And guffawed that he had come to grant me just one wish.
And placing his hankie upon his red nose.
He blew and said, "Pardon, it's your weather I s'pose."

Then, he beckoned me out with a spring in his step.
To see the crescent moon where the wishes are kept.
He implored me to share what my desire might be.
As I glanced at the same view in Britain I'd see.

Much to his chagrin, he cringed and, then, sighed.
If not for his stiff upper lip, he'd have cried.
For my answer was pass the wish on to another
Who had the kindest of heart kinda like my own mother.

So, like Mary Poppins he grabbed onto his brolly.
And ran down the hall to escape this grand folly.
And I heard his brogue lilt as flew out of view,
"Cheerio, don't forget to flush the plane's loo!"

Four Camelots Later

2007-05-28T18:04:00.000+01:00

There were two Richards, a Robert and Mike.
A couple were primo, one was good...then, dislike.
The two Dicks, they were great
Arthur is definitely not in Bob's fate.
Now, last night, Mr. York, I did like.

The New Adventure

2007-05-26T23:31:00.000+01:00

There once was the family of Fox-Blake
Who decided a change of scenery, they would make.
They would cross over the pond,
To hope they would bond,
With the place of the heath and the Lake!

An Ode to my Clyde

2007-01-26T02:04:00.000Z

There once was a loyal pup who was Clyde.
Of his presence, we are all now deprived.
He was gentle and kind.
He has left us behind.
With us, the inspiration of his spirit will survive.

Xanga-ing

2006-11-22T15:17:00.000Z

There once was a mommy and teacher,
Who's friends could finally reach her.
Her posts are on xanga.
As addictive as a manga.
It is there that you'll find a new feature.

My Dream Man

2006-09-19T04:46:00.000+01:00

The Spot

2006-08-23T03:37:00.000+01:00

There once was a little, round spot,
That made me kinda distraught,
Feeling all kinds of stress,
And my spirits depress.
I hope that what I think it is, it is not.

2006-08-19T19:01:00.000+01:00

There was last night a fantastic time on the town,
Where a bevvy of hip-swerving music could be found.
Los Super Vatos made me gyrate.
Two Tons of Steel raised my heart rate.
My heart and soul soaked up therapy by sound.

Going on Limerick Hiatus

2006-07-03T03:20:00.000+01:00

There once was a blog site of limericks,
Whose author preferred to play outside for her kicks.
During summer vacation,
There were other creations,
Upon which her heart, mind and soul could transfix.

2006-06-07T04:05:00.000+01:00

There once was a dear friend, Karin.
Whose heart is enlightened and mind keen.
Her way has touched many lives.
On positivity she thrives
I will miss our chats chased with caffeine.

..................................................................................

May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door.

For the sake of a Limerick

2006-05-23T18:51:00.001+01:00

It is time once again for a limerick,
That is short, inane and quite quick.
A little scan for your eye,
To read and imply
What's the underlying reason for this droll schtick.

My New Outlet

2006-04-24T05:22:00.000+01:00

There was a brand new gadget, the Gazelle Edge.
To which my dedication to use I would pledge,
For my soul and my body.
The latter has gone a bit dodgy.
In the past years, it's grown with my knowledge.

The Initiation into Life with Two Sons (in 5 stanzas)

2006-04-04T05:18:00.000+01:00

There was a boy of 4; wee, sweet Max,
Whose lip on a hearth, he did smack.
The incisor burst through,
Much blood was in view,
His Oma knew this was no time to relax.

Well, the cell phone had run out of juice.
So, to reach me in class was no use.
When I heard of the plight,
I drove as fast as I might.
With hope that the damage I might reduce.

To make our adventure more fun and less funky,
We stopped and got Curious George the brave monkey.
For Max knows the book,
Where to the hospital they took,
The primate to excavate that puzzle piece oh so chunky.
When the time to do the surgery came near,
Both boy and me, mom, shed a tear.
He started out quite animated,
But wrapped in sheets was sedated.
While one-two-three, the nurse worked with her spear.

Now, valiant Max and I are safe in bed,
With sights we'd rather not have in our head.
We have both grown up tonight.
And I'm a bit less uptight,
For the future that lies up ahead.

Spring Cleaning (or Tax Season, 2006)

2006-03-30T05:38:00.000+01:00

There was a room full of old mail and bills.
You could not see for its mounds and tall hills.
The poor husband did slave.
Oh, the peace of mind he did crave!
For he knew, it is worry that kills.

All night envelopes opened and shut.
Many fake credit cards he did cut.
He watched dwindling piles.
Things-thought-lost brought on smiles.
Tax time brought an end to the glut.

The Making of a Descubriendo la lectura/Reading Recovery Teacher Leader

2006-03-30T05:28:00.000+01:00

There was a teacher of DLL/Reading Recovery,
Who had made a thought shifting discovery.
A teacher leader she might make,
After many classes, she did take,
And along the way, she found ample camraderie.

Her training year was finally closing,
Her new duties seemed a bit less imposing.
How very daunting they had seemed.
(They'll still be more than she dreamed.)
Get sleep in while there's time for some dozing!

Ode to the Many Aquarians in my life!

2006-02-21T04:57:00.003Z

'Twas the fortnight of birthdays de la familia Fox-Blake!
There was much frivolity within which one could partake.
Fun at Joey's & Embassy Suites.
First preschool parties with treats.
SO, let us all now rest for Peter's sake!

(Happy Birthday to Mom, 2 of my 3 boys & Mr. Gabriel, too!)
Can you "Imagine" that I might know that it was his b-day ?

An Ode to Uninterrupted Sleep

2006-02-06T03:15:00.000Z

There once was a Crowne Plaza bed,
Upon which seven pillows carried my head,
With not one person to share,
I could sleep unaware.
Of where I might roll, splay and tread.

Elevator Plop At TWU

2006-01-25T22:54:00.000Z

An elevator went caput down the tower,
It was not due to a mere loss of power.
With a bounce and a stop.
But, at least, not a drop.
I found that my day had gone sour.

For once, I was running quite early.
All ahead was looking quite pearly.
Fate gave the surprise.
Took the sparkle from my eyes.
I hoped my mother would not get all surly.

I was with mi amiga, Karin.
And no one became ugly or mean.
We called the police.
The keepers of peace.
They said the fixers were nowhere to be seen.

Then, a voice on the speaker soon told us.
That the repairmen was going to approach us.
From the top of the box.
Then, we felt little rocks.
As he hoisted the elevator from above us.

From the seventh to in between one and two,
We had fallen and stopped we now knew.
So, we stepped up and out.
No panic or shout.
I bade TWU's lift an "adieu."

For my next visit there, I am now aware.
That the lift is not better than the stair.
I will never forget.
The people I met.
With my friend , I have the experience to share.

Green Cake and Sam

2006-01-25T22:46:00.000Z

There once was a toddler named Sam,
Who could not yet say Sam I am.
Yesterday was his day.
To pass two years and play.
But he cannot watch Viva la Bam.

Thanks to our Amarillo clan who attended the festivities!

2006-01-04T03:53:00.000Z

The Fox-Blakes' had a New Year's Celebration,
Where, without Art Bell, there was little revelation,
Yet, fun would be had,
In our Liveoak St pad,
With both mellow times and jubilation.

The night led to an early morning party.
The next day, one fine friend was quite farty.
Her hubby had to retch,
At the post drinking catch.
For the stink was a little too hearty.

Two dear amigos bedded down for the night.
Though one pal woke up in a fright.
To snores and a hump,
She decided to jump.
To the dog beds...oh, what a sad sight.

And I, I got a bit sauced and sappy,
When I talked to a swing and said, "ha-ppy..."
My joke fell quite flat.
With my dysfunctional thinking hat.
Saved by the wisemen, I got a bit blabby.

Now the festivities and fun are all over,
For another year, I am kinda calm and quite sober.
Thanks to everyone who came.
Sorry, it was a little too tame.
I miss you and your ever sweet odor.

The Limerick of Decompression

2005-12-17T02:50:00.000Z

School's out, the holidays are here,
Then, why do I need to shed a tear,
I do not like regret,
Many obstacles I have met,
Tiime to regroup, revive, and change gears.

Brave Combo Casts Its Christmas Spell O'er Denton

2005-12-02T06:36:00.000Z

There once was a band named Brave Combo,
Who'd entice anyone nearby them to Mambo,
At this time, once a year,
They'd fill Denton with cheer,
For a united, peaceful holiday "Jambo"!
("jambo" is Swahili for "hello")

Today's Ode to the Limerick

2005-11-30T02:23:00.000Z

There once was a young boy named Stallion.
Who could round up the whole school's batallion.
He'd jump and he'd whirl.
Letters and books he would hurl.
While his records, the teacher was tallyin'

(voice of the teacher)
He might turn me into a nut.
But I'll open that door that was shut.
I'll jump and I'll whirl,
Watch his genius unfurl,
As he forces me out of my rut.

After the roughest of rough drafts is done...

2005-11-17T08:07:00.000Z

There once was an old student named Ellen,
Whose fingers were tired and swellin,
From typing all night,
Almost gone was her sight,
Her poor brain felt like overripe melon.

2nd Stanza or the End of the Blockage

2005-11-17T03:48:00.001Z

Here you go...

So, when the young Sammer awoke,
His blockage of peelings had broke,
He had quite a stream,
Of yellow and green,
But, at least, on that, he would not choke.

Warning: I am not a limerick purist of the AABBA rhythm and rhyme

2005-11-16T20:22:00.000Z

Limerick Craze!

2005-11-16T20:07:00.000Z

I was inspired last night by my professor who challenged us to write a limerick to present a research study that we had reviewed. It was tons o' fun. So...
I decided that as part of my blogging/therapy by writing I am going to start a limericking craze based on the current events in my life or the world around it. They are fun and meant to be cheesy by nature. I, generally, find my poetry quite cheesy as it stands. SO, now I will have an excuse for cheese.
So, the latest news from the Fox-Blake household is...

There once was a young ween named Sam,
Who with apple in his nose made a jam,
He sneezed and he cried,
For the fruit would not be pryed,
Right out of that big booger dam.

This is to get my writing juices flowing for my case study. I have to have Phase I completed tonight.
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Bhangra vs. Fusion on BBC Asian Networks

What, me moan?

2005-11-10T03:19:00.000Z

Lately, I have been hearing the voice of one of my fellow "servants" from the Manor House Hotel in Somerset and the flamin' guy that I worked with at Jones Day that used to tell me "Stop your moaning." I have been having a hard time keeping my big girl panties on lately and just dealing. Those are the times that I have been posting. SO...I will post now and attempt not to moan.
For what I have realized today is how lucky I am. I have to realize that quite often in my life to get me out of the doldrums when I go there. It's genetics I am told. I have been having my little one person pity parties too much lately.
It took my time in England to pull myself out of some negative bossy times into a more happy and relaxed Ellen. Harkening back to those times with those lovely country and North London accents in my head, I am warning myself not to go back there.
Speaking of lovely, my boys are so very much that way. Sam has reattached himself to the umbilical cord lately and has been my little shadow. Today, he was not himself. So, I took my little nature boy out to the park with Max and I. His mood totally changes if he is cross almost all of the time when he goes outside.
I think that I need to do the same more. Playing my music and getting out into nature seem to help me get over my cross feelings. Hmmm...maybe that is the cure. For now, I am going to get some lessons done for tomorrow and, then, go and take a meditative bath. My wonderful new friend Karin that is training with me got me a waterproof meditation book after I told her that I have the Calgon method of relaxation. I need to take it for a test bath. She made the womb analogy to the experience. It is just the serenity of getting my ears underwater with the bouyancy and the sounds of my breath and heartbeat. Any ambient sounds from the house sound so far away. Oh, I hear bath salts calling my name. Maybe bath first and schoolwork later.
Chris is home...Bye bye!

Loopy Land

2005-11-09T02:42:00.000Z

Well, my brain went on loopy overload tonight at class. I feel kind of bad now as I might have been seen as being a bit glib or facetious. I said that I was BSing. Upon reflection, I was just trying to construct meaning out of the bits that I was grasping. The Rosenblatt discussion starting theory just blew my mind before we even got started with the class. I need to remember how that feels when I am teaching my kids and we start the lesson with a familiar book that is still tricky. Then, when they start to do loopy kinds of things I should understand why I am seeing out of the ordinary behaviors from them.
The clinical class was really helpful and I felt better participating in that one tonight.
Just when I think that I understand a theory it goes all murky again. I want to be able to dig deeper into these ideas but have a hard time scratching the surface.
I am going to Wikkipedia or do some searches to try to get some of the key words and ideas for some of these gals and guys so that I can get my head around what is really important before orals.
I am enjoying the constructivist spirit to approach new knowledge as a whole. However, right now, I need something concrete to hold on to.
I wonder how the turnouts for Proposition 2 will be. I can guess with the conservative majority in this state. Well, at least if it has to pass it will pass now and won't be used to get out the voters in a gubenatorial or presidential year. Bleh!!

Wakka Wakka Wakka

2005-10-27T04:00:00.000+01:00

What a crazy world we live in!
Trying to keep my case study student in my school. He is the one that has really had a crazy life and he is only six. It is hard for me to believe that I live in a country where a mom is in a situation where she is homeless going from home to home, wherever she can stay for a while, (at 20, a single mom because the spousal unit is in jail, with 3 children) because the cost of daycare would negate her probably just above minimum wage job that she might try to get. Of course, none of them have health insurance. I don't know the whole story but I know that this is the reality for many in the "system" of our US of A.
My dad is going in for surgery and is going through cat scans for a growth. He has only one functional vocal chord.
The uni scene is a bit crazed with high emotions. However, I am feeling some relief. I haven't had a migraine this week. (knock on the tile)
Halloween carnival is tomorrow. The Elder Blakester and I are taking a cowboy on a horse (no guns and no vest) and a cute, little frog.
A buddy o' mine's dad died this morning. He fell and hit his head on his kitchen counter.
Wal-Mart is the armpit of Denton. Maybe the other one is the Electric Company. Where is the brain? The left/right brain, could be TWU/UNT?
Long lost boyfriends and dear friends from the past are popping up again.
I think that the universe is going through a paradigm shift. Well, maybe, it is just me.
A friend just reminded me to go and vote. Don't let them make gay marriage outlawed in the Lone Star State. How is that really effecting the souls of those who feel so strongly about spending their valuable time with such a pursuit when so many atrocious injustices are going on in the world beyond that issue? At least, they are not going to throw that one on the ticket in a year when we have the presidential vote in this state.
Boondocks is coming to the Cartoon Network!
Geesh, I'm babbling down the stream of consciousness tonight!
Ignore the imprecise and grammatically challenged writing style, at my request. My brain is cow fricasseed.
Speaking of cows...
For a little bit of fun...
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/cowswithguns.php
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/elvis.php

current mood: quixotic
current music: Viva Blackpool!

Opposite Day (or I should be reading or analyzing records, but I'm not!)

2005-10-04T03:37:00.000+01:00

Well, if I am going to tell all of my classmates where my blog is, I guess that I should post something.
Is this useful uncertainty? (As I posted this ever pressing question of the semester, my dog, Clyde began to howl. It's kinda spooky since that is not a common occurence and there were no sirens to be heard. That question must be deeper than I know.)
Since Nancy asked me if I would share my blog, this is homework, right? I am using the female dominated tag question for validation from my peers.
Well, as I scuttered off from class, Chris kept the boys up late again so that I did get home in time to bathe them and read stories. When I walked in to the "Mommy's home!" announcement from Chris, I was bombarded by squealing boys followed by three leaping, tailwagging pups. That kind of homecoming makes everything hunkey dorey in the world! As I realized that I forgot Chris' coke in the car and ran back out, Sam came bursting out of the door, toddling out after me laughing and trying to jump in the car. (He was not about to let me go again without him.) Max tried to stall for time after his bedtime story playing rhyme time with names. He already knows how to manipulate his teacher mom with tactics that I can't resist.
So, it is official that this was opposite day for me. Growing up, I or one of my buddies would declare that some days were "opposite day" and try to do everything backwards. Today, I realized that the universe imposed opposite day upon me rather than it being my choosing. However, as things continued throughout the day to go not as I expected, I learned a bunch. I tried to keep my mouth closed, as I was often reminded to do by various cues, and tried to learn from the cue or the result of it that reminded me to act accordingly. I think that I came out unscathed but I hope that opposite day is over tomorrow for the sake of my esteemed classmates, family, friends and students.

Googled

2005-08-04T20:28:00.000+01:00

Well, I suppose that I might start posting to this blog more. I have negated one of my statements that I posted earlier and have been spending more time on Livejournal blogging.
I google myself every once in a while to see what I come up with and what is out there about me. Today, this place came up. Thus far, I have been able to stay fairly incognito.
Aack!
More than likely, I will not be blogging much at all once school starts since it looks like I will be taking a total of 18 doctoral hours this year and enjoying my family and keeping them sane while maintaining a semblance of my inner self and loves beyond academia like music, fiction reading, and activism.
The good thing about being able to go to school gratis thanks to the job. I will be able to finish my clinicals and my residency this year without later needing to quit my job to finish my doctorate.
Ah well....c'est la vie!
I have the nice,warm post waterpark kinda feeling that could take me to Harry Potter and snooze time or motivate and clean up time while the bambinos snooze. Since mi suegra is coming, I best take the less fun latter choice this time.

Galveston, oh Galveston

2005-07-30T04:01:00.000+01:00

We finally had a vacation again after two years with no getaway beyond West Texas or Missouri to see family and/or friends. Priorities do change.
We started out at Gaido's Seaside Inn that might have been the type of place that Chris and I would have stayed at in our past. No longer is this sort of place good for mi familia. It was nice in that it was across the street from the beach and next door to a couple of great seafood restaurants. However, there was no vent in the bathroom and a workman was banging on the toilet above us for the entire full day that we were there. The ceiling was bulging with the leakage from above described toilet. The place is best described as quaint.
Sam travelled with us as he was teething, had a double ear infection, then, bit his tongue, had an allergic reaction to Omnicept, his ear infection antibiotic, and got a mouth full of little white sores. He was not a happy beachgoer. Despite his general malaise and after several calls to Denton to his pediatrician, I do think that he had spots of fun. He loved the whole beach scene. Max was into the sand and shells but wanted nothing to do with the "dirty water".
Tuesday, we were driving around looking for a new hotel when Max said, "That one! Look at that one! It is perfect!" So, Chris and I looked at each other and shrugged in a why not kind of a way. After Chris stopped by to check into the possibility, he came back and said, "It is perfect!" and indeed it was.
The Victorian Condo Hotel was just what mi familia ordered. Not at all the kind of hotel that I would have sought out in the past. The kids had bunk beds to sleep in. The pool was on a gradient starting at six inches and had lots of kid friendly props. We had a big balcony with a view of the Gulf. We had a kitchen, breakfast nook, lounge area, and our own grown-up bedroom.
So, to while away the time until check in, we went on the Bolivar ferry which Sam slept through for the most part and Max, Chris, and I enjoyed. We, also, hit the Strand.
We went to the Kemah Boardwalk which we deemed an overly commercialized zone owned by Landry's and enjoyed by those who like to eat at chain restaurants. The train ride and Max's airplane rides were cheesy fun, though. The coolest part of that experience was feeding the stingrays with Max. He had no fear of them for a while until he saw other people fussing and screaming. Then, he decided that he was scared of touching, feeding, and getting splashed or close to them. I'm glad that he experienced all of that before the fear set in.
The Spot and Casey's Seafood were our favorite eats while their. We were limited in our sit down meals because of Sam's temperament. I would get perturbed, too, if a bunch of people sat down for an hour to eat and I could not eat because my mouth was in pain though there was a rumbly in my tumbly. In all of our pictures, Sam's mouth is agape with his tongue sticking out dropping a long string of drool. He is a trooper.
Max turned to Chris or I several times during our sojourn and said, "This is really fun!" He did have a brief bout at The Spot when he said that he was going to be sick and seemed to be running a fever. He took a big nap back at the hotel and upon waking up said, "I woke up and feel much better." That was the end of that scare.
Being one that is bursting with wanderlust, I really hope that my boys are not allergic to travel. We, lately, always seem to have one or the other boy with some sort of malady as we travel. I am wishing and hoping that they just outgrow it for the most part. Let it not be like my curse with the red menace or PreMence everytime that I venture out of Denton for an overnight stay. When I went on the two conferences within one month, it was there two times. The last few times, I have been able to keep my emotions in check much to the relief and sheer joy of my travelling partners.
So, we ended our trip part of the journey with a stop at IKEA. We wanted to preview the wares before the store in DFW opens. I have no doubt that it will be a chaotic madhouse for the first couple of months that it is open. It made my little Euro Wannabee heart gleeful. I can't wait for the hub-bub to cool down around here so that I can luxuriate in the vibes of the store.
We are home now, safe and sound and much saner than before.
A real vacation is a very good thing...

SUMMERTIME FOR TEACHER

2005-05-28T03:36:00.000+01:00

Let's call it a year-2005-2006. Now, is the time when all good teachers begin to prepare for summer school or like me summer conferences and teaching ESL professional development with days off in between to go to the waterpark.
Well, the beautiful thing is that I do have the month of July off.
I chatted with John about trading off teaching Spanish at the Montessori Community School for Max's tuition. We'll see. He said that they would love to have me. The one troublesome thing is that I can only work in the afternoon and would have no opportunity to work with the 3/4 kids.
Bummer...So, it may not be the "win-win" situation for all of us.
Hmm...

Coffee Explosion at 7-Eleven

2005-05-28T03:32:00.000+01:00

Good thing it is the end of the school year because now as I approach 7-Eleven for my 3X a week morning coffee their knees will shake and they will cringe with the upcoming potential disaster.
After waking up late along with my little tykes waking up early, (getting ready early along with entertaining rugrats is not easy) I got to my parents house to drop them off and realized I forgot to take Max to Wee Threes yesterday.
Then, at 7-Eleven, I had just crafted the perfect cup of 24 oz. coffee with just the right amount of everything and was ruminating this thought in my head just a little too much in perfect Ellen style, when my hand slid against that top-heavy recycled cup and KERPLOWIE! A monstrous coffee explosion covered the left front quadrant of the coffee center. The asshole manager was there (my consensus along with all of the other women that work there and who knows who else). In between giving me the evil eye, he was yelling at two little bilingual kids (one of the preferred methods of the ignorant of communicating with second lanuage learners. "Waeyelllll, ya know if ah say it louwder, thay maght should unerstand me better"). The lady that works behind the counter was so nice. I used up about 50 napkins and half a tree trying desperately to clean it up. Let's just say in my PMS state, I drove, spoke, and moved with more thought and premeditation than usual today. I could go on with the few antics that still followed me throughout the day but I would rather not. Let's just say that this one set the precedent and the day is not yet over.
At least, tomorrow is the last day of the school year. Maybe, the early shift will have forgotten by the beginning of next fall.
I think I will treat myself to a Jupiter House Cappuccino tomorrow morning.
(Cappuccino is one of those words like vaccccuuuum, questionnnairrrre, committteeeee and tomorrow that I will almost always have to think about spelling and might just mispell despite my Junior High Spelling Bee Championship. It would have been City had it not been for Claire Adkins, the smartest and youngest girl in my class.)

Hotel Rwanda, My Aftershock

2005-05-22T06:51:00.000+01:00

Just saw, Hotel Rwanda. What an amazing movie! I'm even more hyped about getting out there and getting active.
If I can just send an email every once in a while about some issue that I am concerned about, such as the negative effects of No Child Left Behind, maybe I will help one of these many issues that I am concerned about be resolved. I just inform myself a bit more every day about one of them, as well. The, I can express myself more eloquently about the issues.
The issue that I feel I can spread the word about is Darfur and the lack of international aid that they are receiving to prevent further genocide. A situation that the US has treated much like Rwanda in turning a blind eye to the genocide that is taking place there at this very minute. The thing that frustrates me about seeing films like Hotel Rwanda is that, usually, I understand the situation more fully when it is too late. This film has served as a catalyst to invite people to speak up and make a difference in Darfur and other areas trying to survive similar slaughters of people, like the Congo.
Searching capwiz with whatever issue that you are concerned with and following the links is a quick avenue to action!

Dawat you doing?

2005-05-19T03:09:00.000+01:00

Had a really nice afternoon with my dad and the boys! We went to an interesting place that fed into my love of cultures, Funasia. We ate a Dawat, a tasty Indian buffet, that has a flat screen TV that runs constant Bollywood movies. I think that I found a comrade in Bollywood fandom in Max. He was not so fond of the food, except the naan, but was glued to the movie. The only negative was when he began to twirl around like the choreographed fighting and singing. Oh well, it's much better than Power rangers or one of the typical violent kid shows.
I felt like I had left Texas and visited India for a moment.
Then, we all piled in the peoples' wagon and found (again) the Hong Kong Marketplace, yet another, pretend vacation to some amalgamation of Asia. The blue crabs freaked me when they all started madly grabbing at my fingers from the tank as I reached in to grab the tongs so that I could take a closer look at them. I pulled up a daisy chain of them with the tongs that impressed the boys.
I had a fun, relaxing time with my dad. It is nice when he is not drinking and we can experience some of these more extraordinary, ordinary adventures.
Did I mention that my kids are really funny and cool?
Chris is out to see the Mavs tonight. The silly old bear is quite stressed out over the whole shebang.
This time of the year as a schoolmarm (even part time) is so odd and peoples tend to get a little stressed in that arena of my life, too. One more week...
I will have a busy summer with the prep for the ESL certification class that I am teaching, the RR/DLL summer conference, etc. etc. etc. on the professional front.
Balance...

Easy Activism

2005-05-13T03:33:00.000+01:00

Wow! It is really easy to be politically active these days. I feel like an oldie discovering something that has probably been there for a while. It's kinda like the armchair activist.
But hey, if more people get involved as a result , I'm all for it.
The link above is for the Children's Defense Fund Action Council. They seem to sum up a lot of my concerns with kid and school issues on a national level.
I feel kinda clueless as I learn things like the Gangs bill that was featured on the finale of Judging Amy is a real bill. It is that syndrome of the more you know; the more you realize how much you don't know. I am trying to be careful as I forge forward with this activism to make sure that I am as clear as I can be about what I am getting involved in this time around.
School is almost over and Summer is knocking at my door....I will have a busy weekend: my friend, Eric is graduating Saturday with his doctorate in divinity (Unitarian Universalism) I'm going with Mo, the school BBQ, and, then, off to the Gaylord Texan for Saturday and Sunday to meet our buddies from the Amarillo metropolis.

Ready to Proceed

2005-05-09T05:59:00.000+01:00

I believe that my activist juices are flowing again. Between the DC and the San Antonio conferences, I tended to attend sessions that had political sidenotes with regards to No Child Left Behind (NCLB). I never realized how political, the IRA is. I think they are trying to catch up with the Irish organization of the same name. It was inspiring meeting up with many other educators from around the world (many of them quite prominent) that are all upset over the backwards turn that our public education system is being forced to take. Also, hearing about some of the worldwide concerns and educational systems, I have begun to look deeper concerning the stance of the US and, more specifically Texas, within the worldwide perspective.
The web is a great thing that makes activism a lot easier than it was 10 years ago. I just have to be more diplomatic and a bit more eloquent about the way that I go about my various activities.
I, also, chatted with some other bilingual educators about some of the research that I am interested in and have been, informally, looking at through my students' records. It seems that I am on the right track about the stronger effects that structure has within the reading and writing process of bilingual students, particularly second generation bilingual students. No one has really delved into that area of study but it is something that is of interest to many. Plus, one of the presenters geared me towards some code-switching research that would be relevant to my research interests.
I got lots of free stuff, too.
I'm so happy to be home. I am ready for summer (14 more days).

The Buffer Zone

2005-04-28T13:56:00.000+01:00

I am in the netherworld, the buffer zone between two conferences. I was out for 4 days, home for 6 days, and, now, will be gone for 5 days. I haven't unpacked all of my toiletries all of the way and left some of my stuff in the suitcase since it is useless to just pack it all up again with the way that my "extra" times.
For the first time since the incarnation of the Arts and Jazz Fest, I will be missing Brave Combo. Waaa!
I will post about my DC experience which was wonderful later. Don't know when but I want to document all of the goings on.
Will my husband survive this time while I am gone? That is the burning question. I am trying not to go into panic mode. Max is getting sick and Sam is not sleeping through the night. Overall, he did a great job the first time. However, my mom shared with me that he almost lost it towards the end. I am gone longer this time. Hmmm....

This is it for now!

2005-04-18T13:43:00.000+01:00

I've settled on this as my blog for now. It feels right aesthetically.
Last night, I had a bit of a reality check. It is strange to look at our society and see the many ways in which people feel the need to escape it.
I look around at the people around me (myself, friends and family) and see the different ways that we escape (computer reality, booze, pot, food, smoking, books). I guess we all need a break sometime from our scurried pace.
I find myself being drawn more and more to try to keep myself from escaping so much. To be present and to be mindful of the ripples that my actions cause.
My husband is so great to talk with. He really listens, takes it in, and gives good feedback. I'm glad that in many ways we have a similar method of processing information but, yet, contrasting perspectives.

Starting AGAIN!!!

2005-04-17T19:45:00.000+01:00

OK, so here is yet another blog to try out. Eventually, I will stop bloghopping around. (maybe)
Naptime is the bolgtime for me!
This is seeming a bit too complicated for me as I try to simply add an image and need to download more stuff to do so. Might just forget this one if things don't get easier. If it isn't fast, I don't have time to blog.